It’s been quiet around these parts lately, and it’s for a very good reason.
I recently began a new job and I am happily, delightfully ensconced in that whole thing.
I love it. I really really love it.
I won’t go into too much detail, but I am working in the charity sector, which is the fulfilment of a year’s-long ambition. I feel settled yet challenged, fortunate yet mindful of all my bad job experiences of the past.
The job has been very much soaking up my mental energy and leaving little behind for creative endeavours. But if I allow my career to take control of all parts of my week and zap all my reserves, I will become one of those people who lose their entire self to their 9-5.
I have fought that hard for 4 years and I am not about to give in. Not without a fight.
So today I have jumped back behind the preverbial because, well, I feel like it.
Lately, lately, lately, where do I start.
Lately I've acquired a notebook I've decided to fill with expressive mildly dark doodles (the best kind).
Lately I've had rough mental health moments where I have really felt as if was the only girl in the world that could be feeling that shit. I know that isn't true but it felt very true.
Lately I've reconnected with a best friend of mine who took great loving care of me. It was enough just to see her as happy and content as she is, but she also went out of her way to make me feel good and help me forget the aforementioned moments of #lonelygirl life.
Lately I've felt a raft of emotions, because truth be told, I am still not over something which happened a few months back. I want to be over it and onto the next thing, buts its taking a while for my heart to catch up with my head, and that's okay. It has to be okay.
Lately I have started collecting funny illustrations and plan to make an absolutely epic 'wall of cute' in my bedroom. It will be the wall to go to when I've come home after a shitty day and just want to see a drawing of a potato that is also a pug.
Lately the worlds been as divisive and fucked-up as ever, enemy of the anxious mind. And so I have chosen to put the blinkers on and barely engage with what's going on beyond my small world. I just got to handle my own shit right now, I'm not carrying the worlds bull-shit on my shoulders too, k?
Lately I've been learning that I care way too much about the feelings of people who don't know how to worry about mine. I get we are all different and uniquely flawed in our own way, but sometimes, you just need to let go of the people who's flaws don't work with your own.
Lately I've been lazy in the evenings and binge-watched Outlander (that shit is dark) as well as Fear the Walking Dead (not a PATCH on The Walking Dead).
Lately I finally achieved 'The Plough' position in yoga and I am fairly sure my upper vertebrae hate me.
Lately I've also tried to embrace the concept of 'Fuck it, just say Yes'. Will update you on that soon..
And going forward?
I intend to post more regularly, maybe even instigating some sort of schedule. There are a lot of ideas bubbling around upstairs amidst all the other absolute insanity, and I am sure I can mould it into something resembling readable blog posts. I hope. Maybe.